This shirt was a gift, and what a gift it was! This shirt is the avocado ice cream of the athleisure department, stronger than the purest Egyptian cotton and softer than Robert James Gronkowski holding a cat. This shirt will be the talk of the Pain Cave, the envy of all those who seek the gains whose eyes fall upon it. Laced with Tom's Secret Stuff, this shirt will simply float on you and stay out of the way, so you can Do. Your. Job. better than you could in any other shirt on the market. You may have to buy multiple because you'll want to wear this every day of the week, except on Sundays, of course... because Sundays are the Lord's Day. Sundays are Tom's Day. On Sundays, we rest. We sit back. We crack open a cold bottle of cage-free, non-GMO, farm-to-table, organic water to get lubed up and rowdy for gametime and prepare to cheer on Tommy Touchdowns and watch in awe as he picks apart a defense with the same laser precision and efficiency with which he brought this very t-shirt from merely an idea in his beautiful mind to a game changing performance shirt for your torso. On a scale of 1 to 10, this shirt is a TB12, baby. Yes, a TB12. It's the best there ever was. It's the GOAT. If you like goats, gains, and desire the pliability of Gumby, then this is the shirt for you, my friend. Stay beautiful. Stay Pliable.
On behalf of News England, we miss you, Tom. Hope the fam is well!
Your friend and fan always,
Kevin Michael
(a.k.a. the kid who once got about 10 Drew Bledsoe autographs at the 2001 Patriots Kickoff Gala and negligently came home with zero Tom Brady autographs. Twas a different world then. I was just a boy. Please forgive me.)
P.s. Tom, please drop a men's workout tank just like this soon. I'll buy 5 for my fam.
